Nowadays, having a Service Dog seems to be an "in" thing. And why shouldn't it be? Being a part of a Service Dog Team is an incredibly rewarding opportunity. A Service Dog is a best friend and constant companion who provides increased independence and confidence, peace-of-mind, and support during difficult times.  A Service Dog will always be there for you and, depending on your circumstances, may save your life on a regular basis.  But owning and caring for a Service Dog is a lot of hard work and is not the best option for everyone. Most people that I come in contact with have no idea exactly what they are actually getting into. Just like your Service Dog will always be there for you, you must always be there for him/her. There is a reason we call it a Service Dog Team – it’s a team effort, and you’ll both have to make sacrifices to be successful. Your answers to the following questions should help you determine whether becoming a part of a Service Dog Team is right for you.

The ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) governs federal law regarding fully trained Service Dogs. They define a person with a disability as a person who has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities. If you don’t have a disability that falls under ADA law, you DO NOT have the legal right to take a Service Dog out in public with you. Be careful about "self diagnosing." Just because you want your furry friend to be able to go everywhere with you doesn't mean that you can have a Service Dog. In order to fully protect yourself legally, it is always best to make sure that a medical or mental health professional has actually diagnosed you with a disability. This does not necessarily mean that they can determine whether or not a Service Dog is the right option for you though. Medical and mental health professionals are far from experts when it comes to Service Dogs. Most of them are not actually familiar with many of the laws and standards surrounding Service Dogs at all. Getting a diagnosis is simply the first step on your journey to determining if a Service Dog is right for your situation.

​Not sure if your situation applies?  You can call this confidential ADA Information Line: 800-514-0301 (Voice) or 800-514-0383 (TTY).

​According to Federal ADA law, a dog must be trained to perform work or tasks that directly relate to and assist with or mitigate your disability in order to qualify as a Service Dog.  A dog that solely provides comfort or emotional support through his or her presence does not qualify as a Service Dog and cannot be taken into public access locations.  It is important to identify specific tasks that you feel a dog could do to assist with or mitigate your specific disability. You may find that there is an adaptive technology or tool that would be better suited to your situation to mitigate your disability, such as a wheelchair, walker, alert phone, etc. A dog is also not a replacement for any such tools. A dog should never be your first line of defense when it comes to mitigating your disability. Be responsible and do your research or contact a professional to find out what a dog can realistically be trained to do for you.

​A Service Dog is not a pet and s/he will require more time, more effort and more money than a pet dog. You will want your Service Dog to be healthy and able to work for as long as possible.  As such, you will need to provide a high quality diet, proper exercise and mental stimulation, ample play time to let your Service Dog just be a dog, extensive veterinary care, basic dog supplies and special gear and training equipment. Service Dogs also require extra grooming to keep them presentable to go out and work in public. You will want to make sure that you can budget to easily cover all of these costs on your own. If you do not have the ability to properly care for a regular pet dog, there is no way that you will have the ability to properly care for a Service Dog. Check out my blog post: How Much Does it Cost to Train a Service Dog? for more information.

You will have to train with a Service Dog daily to keep up his/her skills. You will need to create and adhere to a regular training schedule for your Service Dog. You will need to be able to go into public places at least 2-3 times a week to train and maintain your Service Dog’s skills. If you have severe phobias or agoraphobia that will prevent this, you will need to gain treatment until you have reached a point where you can do this before a Service Dog will be realistic for you. You should also be able to keep detailed track of all of the training and work you put into your Service dog via journal, written training log, video log, etc. This will help you keep track of all of your Service Dog's progress and struggles and help you figure out the best ways to be working with your dog. This will also be a great protection to you should anyone ever question the validity of your Service Dog.
It is very important to recognize that if you cannot keep up with regular training, your Service Dog will stop performing the tasks and high standard of behaviors that have been trained.
There are many programs that offer service dogs for free (all of which have waiting periods of 2-7 years). Because of this, many people look into other organizations that charge for their Service Dogs or opt to owner train. There are many grant and fundraising options that can greatly help cover costs. However, if you are training a Service Dog yourself you must be able to financially afford to;

1. Hire a professional who can help you determine if your dog has a suitable temperament for service dog work and/or help you find a dog that does.
2. Hire a professional to help you learn how to safely and appropriately handle a dog out in public and teach you how to safely train tasks to ensure no harm comes to you or your dog.

​Training and owning a Service Dog is A LOT of hard work. It is important to make sure you have a strong support system in place of people who are willing and able to help you with training and care of your Service Dog during times of illness or flare ups of your disability. These can be family, friends, relatives, neighbors, etc. Having a service dog is going to be difficult to impossible if you do not have this support system in place.

​Your Service Dog will go with you everywhere you go – and everyone will notice that you have a dog with you. You’re basically putting a big red flag on your head that says “I have a disability.” Children and adults will attempt to pet, talk to, feed or otherwise distract your Service Dog and almost everyone will want to stop and “chat.”  Some people will give you unkind looks or make unkind remarks. Some will ask questions and want detailed information about your disability. Some people may behave extremely poorly and do incredibly inappropriate things, and a few, uneducated businesses will even attempt to unjustly deny access to you and your Service Dog.  You will have to spend a lot of time calmly and politely educating people, and you’ll have to learn to say, “No” when you don’t have time and/or aren’t in the mood to talk to people or let them pet your Service Dog.  You will have to become familiar with the laws, know your legal rights, and be willing to stand up for those rights with your Service Dog. You will have to become an advocate for Service Dog teams everywhere as you and your dog will represent what should be expected of all Service Dog teams.

It is so important to do as much research as possible before taking the plunge into getting a Service Dog. In many ways, owning a Service Dog will actually make your life harder. If you want to have a Service Dog, you have to be prepared to take all of the bad that comes with the good. If you think that's something you can handle, you have the potential to be rewarded with an amazing companionship unlike any other. 

Prey drive. 
If your dog has a strong one, you know this can be a tough cookie to manage.
Some may ask "what can I do to reduce my dog's prey drive?" 
Unfortunately, prey drive is not something you can you can truly reduce or get rid of. You can't tell an extremely outgoing person to just stop being social. It's simply a part of who they are. That's how prey drive is. It's a primal instinct that goes right down to the very being of your dog. 

Luckily, this doesn't mean that all hope is lost! While prey drive is not something you can really reduce or get rid of completely, you can help your dog to learn how to control himself better in the face of stimuli. The primary way to do this is to build your dog's impulse control. ​

When working on Impulse control some of the best commands to practice are;

1. Waits- this is a temporary command typically used for things like: Wait for food, Wait at the door, Wait to cross the street, Wait before going after a toy, etc.
2. Leave Its- This is a permanent command for when you don't want your dog to touch something at all ever. Things like if you just dropped a bottle of pills all over the floor- Leave it! Or there is a dead thing on the side of the road- Leave it! Or the neighbor cat is walking along the fence- Leave it!
3. Stays- This is a permanent command basically meaning stay there until I come back and release you. This can be used for things like Stay on your bed while I cook or eat dinner, Stay there while I have guests in the house, etc.

With each of these commands you want to be working on building the 3 D's

• Distance- How far away from you and/or how close to the stimuli your dog can be while still controlling himself
• Duration- How long your dog can remain in control of himself
• Distractions- What's going on around your dog while he remains in control of himself.

When working on these areas there are a few things to keep in mind.

1. If your dog is really struggling, it is usually because you are trying to push him too hard and/or too fast on one or more of the 3 D's.
2. If your dog fails more than twice in a row, make what you are doing a little easier. If your dog keeps failing over and over he will get frustrated and stop working with you.
3. You must remember that dogs are horrible generalizers. Dog's brains think very situationally and locationally. So your dog may try to chase after a cat in the yard, you correct him, now he knows not to chase cats in the yard. But he may try it again if there is a bird or a squirrel, if you are at the park or someone else's house, if you are on a walk, if you are not home, or if someone else is watching him. Most dogs, on average take about 12 different location/scenario shifts before they will finally generalize that when you ask them to do something it means always. So you have to make sure that when you are working with your dog you are practicing in a variety of different situations, with a variety of different things, in a variety of different places, and with a variety of different people.

One of my favorite places to start when working on building impulse control is Dr. Karen Overall's Protocol for Relaxation. What I love about this is that it gives you 15 days worth of training protocols to help build your dog's impulse control, and it is super easy to build on! You can go through all 15 days at home, then do it again in the backyard, then in the front yard, then at the park. Go though it all again with your dog in a Sit, then alternating between a Sit and a Down, then doubling the time that is required, then doubling the distance. Try adding some random loud noises to some of what you're doing, try squeaking a toy or bouncing a ball during it, etc. Suddenly this 15 days worth of training protocols can turn into months of building your dog up and helping him learn how to relax and control himself in the face of all sorts of stimuli!

You also need to keep in mind that if you are having to use punishments to try and control your dog's prey dive, you have not built true impulse control in your dog. You are merely managing the symptoms.
Typically, if you are trying to rely on punishments to control behaviors like this, one of two things is likely to happen:

1. If you have a very sensitive dog, your dog may end up developing learned helplessness and shutting down, or worse, become fearful in the face of the stimulus- which can then create a whole slew of it's own problems you will have to deal with.
2. If you have a more confident dog, he may ignore the stimulus for a while, but once he has gone a while without getting punished for it, he will likely just try the behavior again and you will be right back to having to punish him.

This is why building true impulse control in this situation is so important.

Let's imagine that you have an extremely strong, seemingly insatiable sweet tooth, and more than anything else, you LOVE ice cream. One day you go to the fridge for a delicious treat, but when you go to get some out you get yelled at and told you can't have ice cream. This continues to happen and soon you learn that you just can't have ice cream at your house. You go over to a friends house. They have ice cream too! But again, you get yelled at and told you can't have it. This starts happening everywhere you go, so eventually you give up on trying to get any ice cream. This hasn't impacted your strong sweet tooth and it hasn't changed your love of ice cream though.
Several months have gone by. You haven't tried to have any ice cream, and no one has gotten after you about not eating it. You decide that maybe you will give it a try again. You are able to get down several bites, maybe even a whole bowl before anyone comes and yells at you for having ice cream! It took them a while to realize you were having any since it's been so long since you've tried to get it, so they were slow to react. You have now been rewarded, and even though you got in trouble for eating the ice cream, you will likely try to do it again the next time you see an opening. This is because eating the ice cream was a self rewarding behavior.

Now let me give you another example:
You still have that insatiable sweet tooth and a love of ice cream, but you have decided you want to lose weight and get healthier. Suddenly you have a goal and a reason to stop eating ice cream!
First, you come up with a reward system for yourself. For some people, simply losing weight and getting healthy is enough of a reward in and of itself, but for those of us who don't have much impulse control, giving ourselves rewards here and there is what will help us reach our goal. This might be that if you are able to not have any ice cream for "x" amount of time you will reward yourself with a shopping day, a movie night, a date night, dinner at a nice restaurant, etc. It's typically best to have a variety of rewards as well. If you are rewarding yourself with the same thing, every time, you may eventually become bored of it and decide that the ice cream is more worth it. If you have a variety of rewards you can switch between, sticking to your goal becomes much easier.
Coming up with some healthier alternatives can also help you stick to your goal. This could be substituting a homemade fruit smoothie or some sugar free frozen yogurt whenever those ice cream cravings hit.

When it comes to figuring out a good reward system for your dog, remember that treats are not the only thing you can use! And when it comes to a strong, deeply seeded behavior like prey drive, your dog may become bored with treats, and stop listening to you. If you rely too heavily on treats, some dogs may not listen unless they know you have treats on you. 
One thing I've recently started recommending all of my clients do is to come up with a rewards list for their dog. The more rewards you have in your arsenal, the more you will be able to reward your dog for positive behavior in any given situation. This will also help your dog to want to offer those positive behaviors more on his own, without having to be asked for them.
The goal is to come up with at least 3 of your dog's most favorite things in each of the following categories:

• Food Rewards- this can be things like chicken, cheese, hotdogs, chewy treats, crunchy treats, kibble, cheerios, popcorn, etc.
• Play Rewards- this would be things like fetch, tug, running around, soft fuzzy toys, squeaky toys, toys he can chew, chasing after bubbles, etc.
• Social Rewards- this is any kind of interaction with you or other dogs. Petting, praise, belly rubs, doggy massage, getting to go greet another person or dog or go play with tem, etc. Maybe your dog likes to have his ears scratched in a certain way, etc. I know Basil's favorite thing is when I give him permission to jump up and put his paws on my shoulders.
• Environmental Rewards- this would be things like going for walks, going for rides in the car, getting to go play outside, being given permission to jump up on the bed or couch with you, being given permission to jump up and down or bark and make lots of noise, getting to go on a sniffing adventure, etc.

The last thing is to figure out what are some healthy, positive, more controlled activities for your dog to do to get that excess, pent up energy out.
Frisbee sports, Treibball, and Fly Ball can all be super fun activities to help better control and manage prey drive.
​Letting your dog enjoy a fun, controlled session playing with a flirt pole to help get some of that excess energy/prey drive out can be a great option (just make sure to be incorporating a "Drop It" command and "Settle" command into the game).
Teaching your dog the "Look at That" game can be a very useful technique in this situation. 
Teaching your dog the Jazz Up and Settle Down game can be a great way to help your dog learn to have an "On/Off" switch to go from high drive/energy to relaxed. This is basically done by getting your dog super excited and amped up, get them jumping up and down and being super crazy, get them pulling really hard on a tug, etc, then switch gears in an instant and put your dog in a Down/Settle. Speak softly and move slowly. Use doggy massage to help calm your dog down. The goal is for your dog to eventually be able to settle down on cue.
Playing a good game of tug, encouraging your dog to do strong pulls backwards to help release pent up energy, stress, anxiety, etc.

So, while you may never be able to truly get rid of your dog's prey drive, with the right training and management plan, you can help your dog learn how to control it better all on his own!

• This is one that no one ever wants to think about or consider, but is always a very real possibility. Service dog work can be very hard and very stressful. Few dogs are actually cut out for the job. What you are going to do if your dog fails is something all service dog handlers have to consider. There are a lot of different things that can cause your dog to fail as a service dog, but 95% of the time (if not more) it’s going to be because of a Public Access/socialization issue. This can be anything from fear, aggression, reactivity, lack of confidence, health issues, etc. In many cases once a behavioral issue develops it is often going to be faster to start over with a new dog than trying to work your dog through the issue and then resuming service dog training. Taking your dog’s health and well being into account is of the utmost importance as a service dog handler. Even if you really want your dog to succeed as your service dog, sometimes you have to accept that this just isn’t the right job for your dog and that s/he will be happier just living as a pet. Should this happen you then have to decide if/when you are ready to start over with a new dog.

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Many people are shocked when I tell them how long it typically takes to fully train a service dog. Once you have taken into account all the different factors that go into it, you can begin to get an idea of just how much work it really takes, and just how dedicated you have to be to train a dog to become a service dog.

When trying to determine how much it costs to train a service dog, you are likely going to get a lot of different answers from nearly every person you ask. This is because there are a lot of different things that must be factored in to the cost, on top of all of the basic things you would need for a pet dog. Costs for each of these things can also vary greatly depending on where you live and the breed, size, and energy level of the dog being trained.

I’ve tried to break down the costs as best as I can below. Please note that these are estimates of costs just during the training process of your service dog. This is a long-term process that, on average, takes 1 ½ - 2 years or more to complete. These estimates do not include costs of upkeep and maintenance once your dog is fully trained:

Fist off there is the cost of purchasing a dog. This is not as simple as just going to the shelter and picking out a dog. You will likely need the assistance of an experienced trainer who knows what s/he is looking for to do temperament testing and evaluations in order to help you find the right dog or puppy that has the potential to do service dog work. Then there is the adoption fee or cost of the dog. Many people choose to go with an older dog that may already have some training hoping that this will make training easier/go faster or because this is a cheaper option. Unfortunately this option often leaves you with a big red question mark as to the health of the dog. It is not uncommon for rescue dogs to end up having to be failed due to serious genetic health issues that pop up. Socialization of an older dog can also be much harder. Many older dogs end up having to be failed because they did not receive the socialization necessary as a puppy to make it as a service dog. However, going with a breeder that doesn't take great care to cover health testing on the parents, genetic testing on the puppies, provide early neurological stimulation and socialization to their puppies, etc. can also reap the exact same problems. This is why I always recommend going with a responsible breeder who does health and genetic testing on all of their dogs and focuses on breeding for good health and solid temperaments. This is going to be a much higher expense up front, but will generally save you a lot more money in the long run.

​Whatever route you decide to go, between the fees of paying a trainer to help you find the right dog, adoption fees, purchasing costs, etc. you can be looking at anywhere from $200-$5,000

Next up is making sure you keep your dog on a high quality diet. You cannot just buy any cheap food from the grocery store. A service dog needs to be in pique physical condition to be able to work and a good quality diet is a huge part of that. You will also need to provide plenty of training treats and appropriate chews and supplies for dental care. Depending on the size and energy level of your dog, you are easily looking at spending anywhere from $1,000-$4,000 on food.

Veterinary Care is also a must to make sure that your dog remains in the best of health to ensure that s/he can always work for you. This will include not only all the basics (yearly checkups, vaccines, spay/neutering, etc.), but will also include hip and elbow x-rays and health clearances once your dog is at the appropriate age to ensure that they are physically healthy enough to do the work you will need him/her to do for you. You can expect to be paying anywhere from $1,500-$5,000 in total veterinary costs.

Many service dog handlers, for a variety of reasons, choose to have their service dogs professionally groomed. Keeping a dog well groomed is an important part of owning a service dog. If a dog is not well groomed it can lead to pain and discomfort for the dog, which can affect their overall mental well being. An extremely dirty dog can even be legally denied access from businesses. Depending on the size, coat type, and what all you are needing to have done can cause the exact price of grooming to vary greatly. Even if you opt to do grooming yourself, you will still need to take into account the cost for all of the necessary grooming supplies. In total you can easily be looking at anywhere from $100- over $2,000 in grooming costs.

It is extremely ill advised to try to train your own service dog all by yourself. On top of obedience training, you also need to work on proper socialization, public access training, and task training. This is a lot more that most people are actually prepared for.

Many people don't know how to do the proper socialization and exposure work needed for service dog work. When it comes to public access training there are a lot of laws, regulations, and standards that if you are not aware of can get you into trouble. When it comes to task training, there are things that, if not approached properly and correctly, can be dangerous to you and/or your dog. There are a lot of tasks as well that just because you can train them, doesn't mean you should! So enlisting the help of an experienced, LIMA based service dog trainer who can walk you through the ins and outs of everything is a MUST. 

If you already have a lot of dog training experience, you may only need assistance occasionally (at least once a month is recommended). Most people will need help much more frequently (weekly or every other week, and sometimes more). Enrolling in group classes and socialization classes is also a good idea to help keep your skills up and keep your dog socialized to other dogs.

​Over all, depending on the prices of the training program you have chosen, as well as exactly how much assistance you are needing, you should expect anywhere from $3,500-$20,000 for training over the next 2 years.

Service Dogs require a lot of specialty gear and equipment. Since this gear will all be used on a daily basis it is also important to get high quality equipment that will last you a while. This can include a standard leash and collar, specialty leashes and collars, a service dog vest, medication bags, specialty harnesses and bridge handles, dog boots, treat pouches, a settle mat, travel food and water bowls, and more. In the end all this can easily cost anywhere from $300-$3,000.

This is not a requirement but can be a very good option that many service dog handlers chose to get. Having assistance to cover vet bills and any emergency treatments that come up can be a huge help. Emergency procedures can often cost thousands of dollars that most people are not able to pay out of pocket. Pet insurance can be a great protection and preparation for a rainy day. Depending on your dog’s breed and what policy you chose to go with, costs will typically be anywhere from $35-$150 or more per month or around $850-$3,600 during the training period.

The answer is: A lot more than people think! This is why the vast majority of people looking to get a service dog, as well as most reputable service dog companies have to rely largely on donations and fundraising in order to cover all of the costs. There is no such thing as training a service dog on a budget! If you truly feel that a service dog is the best possible way to help you manage your disability you have to be willing to put yourself out there and do whatever it takes to cover the costs!

Check out the links below for some great fundraising ideas!
Fundraising Ideas
Fund raise For a Service Dog: 100 Ideas
Fundraising Ideas for a Service Dog
Service Dog Fund Raising

I believe that one of the most important things we can do as dog owners is come to understand more fully how our dogs communicate. People spend so much time trying to teach dogs what to do, but how often do they actually listen to what their dogs have to say? In order for communication to be truly effective if must go both ways. I believe that the more we come to understand and listen to our dogs the better and more meaningful relationship we will have! The first thing that is important to understand about canine communication is that 90-95% of it is done through body language, not vocalizations. 


Today I want to discuss canine stress indicators.

Understanding the signs of a stressed out dog is critical when training and working with any dog. A dog that is too highly stressed is unlikely to be successful able to learn anything. Trying to force an overly stressed dog to work will likely even set training back. I’m sure you’ve heard someone say “the dog just bit out of the blue!” Not True! A dog will always give some sort of signal that he or she is feeling uncomfortable or stressed, however, more often than not, these signals will be silent. Learning to understand how dogs communicate stress is one of the number one ways to prevent dog bites. 

It has happened; your kid is asking for a puppy – and he is NOT letting up.  You’ve explained that you don’t want a dog in your house; dogs shed, drool, bark, jump up on people and have accidents in the house.  Your child (who is far more intelligent than you gave him credit for) explains that there are non-shedding, non-drooling dogs.  There are even dogs that don’t bark!  And for the ones that do, you can train them not to bark – or only to bark on command.  And you can train them to do whatever you want (or don’t want) them to do!  You inform Jr. that you don’t want the responsibility of caring for a dog and, of course, Jr. insists that he will take care of the dog and you won’t have to do ANYTHING!

This is where most parents start to struggle.  You know that within a week you’ll be 100% responsible for anything and everything the new puppy does; but Jr. doesn’t believe you!  Jr. insists that you’re wrong!  And Jr. feels hurt and betrayed that you don’t trust him with this task.  So what do you do?  You give Jr. the opportunity to PROVE it!  You tell Jr. that if he wants a puppy, it’s going to take some time – as in several years time – and if he can show you that he’s responsible enough, then yes, you will let him have a puppy.  Most kids will never get there – and if they do, you really will be able to live with a non-shedding, non-drooling, non-barking, accident-free dog in your house with minimal effort on your part!

Sounds too good to be true, but it really does work.  If you’re truly not willing to let Jr. have a dog – EVER – this same process can be used to make Jr. feel better about not getting a dog while teaching him valuable life lessons (I personally believe EVERY child should go through this process, whether they end up with a dog or not).  Each of these pets (until you reach “dog”) can be kept in Jr.’s room, where they won’t bother you or other members of the household that may be allergic.

The trick is to start with a small and simple pet (like a beta) and work your way up.  The child really does have to do EVERYTHING.  First, take him to the library and help him learn how to research in books and online.  Next, he must tell you what he has learned (or, if he’s a little older, provide a written report) and make a list of all the supplies he’ll need.  Then you help him shop for supplies online until he knows how much money he needs (lessons in shopping and money management).  Help him decide the best source for his new pet - is a pet store okay or is a breeder a more responsible option? - and help him develop and carry out a plan to save the money.  Depending on his age, this plan may include mom and dad “matching” his earnings or helping out in some other way once he’s done the agreed upon chores, work, etc.  Finally, you let him make his purchase.  Betas are rather boring pets and if your child can successfully care for a beta for one year, he’s already proven he’s more responsible than you thought he was.  If he fails and the beta dies, you don’t have to feel as bad as if he caused the death of a more sentient animal, such as a cat or dog.  You may be lenient if the beta dies for reasons outside his control – in this case, you simply replace the beta and don’t make him start his year over.

Once he can keep a fish for a year, you let him move on to a slightly more complicated pet for 1-2 years and start the process over (research, discussion, shopping, saving money, purchasing and keeping the pet).  This pet can be a hamster, gerbil, mouse, rabbit or guinea pig.  Keep in mind that rabbits and guinea pigs live up to 10 years or more, so you may want to stick with a smaller pet with a 1-4 year lifespan - unless you’re willing to keep this pet its entire life when you can’t find a loving home later.  Stay away from birds, ferrets, chinchillas, reptiles, amphibians and other exotic pets; these are far too complicated for a young child to manage properly.  And don’t forget about the beta!  Betas have varying life spans and some can live for several years.  Jr. will now be caring for both the beta and the small pet until the beta dies (next great learning opportunity: dealing with death and loss*).

*If you’re not willing to teach your child to deal with death and loss, you should NEVER bring an animal into the home.  I hated seeing parents run to the pet store with Jr.’s dead fish, hamster, bird, etc. and frantically inform me that they had to replace it with an identical animal before Jr. got home from school.  I hate to break it to you, but Jr. isn’t stupid.  Jr. will notice.  And now Jr. has to learn to deal with death AND with losing his trust in his parents – and he has to do it on his own because you’re pretending nothing happened.  Don’t do it.  Either teach your child to deal with loss or don’t get your child a pet.

At this point, you should have a pretty good idea whether or not Jr. will be able to care for a puppy or adult rescue dog.  You may want to add a third pet or move straight to a dog, but in either case, Jr. should be at least 12 years old before moving onto anything more complicated.  Rats make a perfect third step, since they are incredibly docile, don’t smell (unless Jr. fails to replace the bedding), keep themselves clean, and are very dog-like.  They can be trained to go in a litter box, learn their names and the names of their cage-mates, come when called, and do a variety of tricks (such as standing on their hind legs, turning in circles, running a maze, etc.).  Requiring Jr. to get a pair of rats (rats are extremely social and cannot be kept solitary) and to successfully train them to do a variety of tasks can be the perfect “final test” before getting a dog.  If Jr. was already older when you began this process, pet rats can be used as the second pet and the third step can be skipped over.  Keep in mind that none of these “steps” are set-in-stone; it is up to you as the parent to know your individual children and tailor this process to meet each of their needs.

Finally, Jr. can begin preparing to bring home a dog (unless you’re one of the NO DOGS EVER parents).  The research phase of this process should take a very long time.  Jr. should read a variety of books on training, socializing, communicating with, feeding and generally caring for a dog.  He should look up local trainers and have enough money saved to pay for a socialization class as well as a set of in-home training sessions (most personal trainers offer a “pack-of-four” sessions or something similar).  He should take the time to teach the family what he has learned and decide in advance, with the family, what rules the dog will have to follow and how the dog will be trained (any family member who participates in training must follow the exact same training style to avoid confusing the dog).  Jr. must then research breeds, breeders, rescue dogs and rescue groups to determine what dog will be the best fit for your family (not just for him!) and where to get a dog from (NEVER get a dog from a pet store).  Keep in mind that rescue dogs come with their own set of problems.  If you and your family are not familiar with dogs, a rescue may not be a good choice for a first dog.  Have Jr. obtain experience with dogs by offering dog walking to neighbors and friends with dogs.  Find someone willing to let Jr. practice training simple behaviors with their dog.  You can even have Jr. “dog-sit” for a neighbor or friend to get a feel for what it’s like to have a dog in the house.  When you actually bring the new dog home, do so at the beginning of summer vacation so Jr. has the entire summer to spend training and housebreaking the dog.  If you let Jr. bring the dog home during the school year, you will have to step in and help housebreak the dog when Jr. is at school; so avoid this unless you’re truly willing to help.

The golden rule of bringing home a dog is that you keep the dog!  Dogs are incredibly social and view their humans as their “family pack.”  Dogs are incredibly intelligent and they understand when they've been abandoned in the same way a child understands when his father disappears and never returns.  It is unfair to bring a dog home and let it settle in only to get rid of it because you failed to train it to behave properly.  This is the entire reason you've required Jr. to go through this long process.  Make sure you've discussed what Jr. will do with the dog when he goes to college because “getting rid of the dog” is NOT an option.  Will the dog stay with mom and dad?  Will the dog stay with a friend or family member (in this case, the dog should be bonded to this person BEFORE being left with them)?  Does Jr. have to find a way to take the dog with him?  These questions should be addressed BEFORE the dog comes home.  If you’ve followed all these steps, Jr. will bring home the right dog for your family.  He will care for him properly and do almost all the work.  The rest of the family will still have to participate some in helping the dog understand the rules.  For example, if the dog is not allowed to beg at the table, but someone in the family continues feeding the dog from the table, the dog is never going to learn.  Still, your participation will be minimal – and you’ll be able to enjoy having a well-behaved dog in the house and you’ll hardly have to do ANYTHING!  The best part, however, is that you’ll have a well-adjusted Jr. who knows how to handle money, be responsible, work hard, and learn new things.

Make your dog work for everything he wants. Eating, playing, going outside, interaction with you, sitting on the couch, etc. Have him do a known command (like a sit, down, or wait) before receiving what he wants. It’s the same as asking a child to say “please”. This will help your dog learn that jumping, barking, mouthing, or other unwanted behaviors do not get him what he wants. Being polite is what gets him what he wants. This can also help repair the relationship if you have a domineering dog or a dog that has little to no respect for you or others. Be sure to set realistic boundaries and expectations for your dog, just as you would with a child.